Fleeting Wor(l)ds

If an Irish shall cross your path one day, either because he got lost to go to the US, or because like me, Ireland called you through winds and rain, there is a couple of things that you need to know…

First, I hope you are firmly sitting down because it will probably strike you like a lightening and rock your world forever: HE HAS AN ACCENT! Not as strong as if your were (trying) to talk with a Scottish, but it still worth its weight in potatoes. I insist! Because even native English speakers, even people of old Irish extractions (let’s be honest, Americans all have at least 1/10 of Irish bloods in their veins), sometimes don’t get them either! Sometimes, you might not even be 100% sure they are actually speaking English… But the most incredible thing is that they do perfectly understand us!
For non-native English speakers like me, I can give you some tips like, their “u” usually sounds like a “closed o” (but = bôt, fuck = fôck) and they have some troubles with “th”, they don’t care, they pronounce it like a “t”! Except for that, I can’t give you much, because there is not ONE accent, there is a whole bunch… And nobody can tell which one is the hardest to get. One would say Southern is hell; but believe me, Northern has troubles to be understood as well; and if you go West, more rural and where there still are native Gaelic areas, you’ll have to struggle! Which leaves you with East… oh, no, I forgot, Dublin is East! Conclusion: Never mind and have fun!

Then, if you pass by an Irish in the street or the countryside, at the supermarket, on a hike or at the pub, he will always tell you: “How are you doing ?”. It’s a trap! The guy is not really asking you about your state of mind or health, no need for a long and endless complain about your sister, your mother, your boy-or-girl-friend, your boss, you cat, that pissed you off this morning; the guy is actually only greeting you. It’s a bit like the French “Hi, how are you? – Fine and you?” when you meet somebody you know in the streets (you’ll find yourself quite embarrassed if the person actually tells you how he feels by the way); except in Ireland, the guy is a total stranger and you should absolutely not answer the question. You can definitely say “hey, how are you doing?” but absolutely not: “I’m fine and you?” (which, being French, was – and still is – my first impulse, but when I saw the weird look on people faces, I understood perfectly well that I got it wrong…)
Rule #1: “How are you doing” = “Hi”, and not “tell me your story sweet little traveler”…

Furthermore, once you’ll have talked with your first Irish – approximately five minutes after the bus from the airport dropped you in town because you looked so lost in this Irish land that a good Irish soul led you to your place in the other side of the city; or, if you left the airport with your rental car, two minutes after you entered a pub and ordered your first pint; once you’ll have your first conversation with your first Irish though -, the guy might innocently tell you “What’s the craic?”. You don’t get it? It’s because you didn’t hear it, craic actually sounds like “crac”… Therefore, the first time I was told about the craic, I thought I was being offered drugs, and not the recreational one, the hard one that you put directly into your eyes or veins, whatever… I didn’t know what to say, I politely smiled and moved on, a bit disturbed though. And I forgot… It’s only a few days later that I learned more: craic is an Irish slang from Gaelic that means “fun”; “What’s the craic?”, “Let’s have some craic”, etc… and when somebody tells you “What’s the craic?”, it’s another way to ask for some news (this time, you are allowed to answer, but again, don’t go deep, they don’t except a lecture on your life).
Rule #2: “What’s the craic?” = “what’s up?”, and not “let’s go to the loo to get high and loaded!”

GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME! I (almost) forgot to warn you: it’s sometimes tricky to know what time it is (or let’s say, random example, at what time you have to catch your boat!). Indeed, Irish think it doesn’t matter if it is quarter TO two or quarter PAST two, they’ll say quarter TO two anyway. They are mostly right, one could say: it’s always quarter TO two somewhere in the world… So if, like me, you have a boat to catch, be there for quarter TO two… with some luck, you’ll be right; if not, have a tea or a beer and be cool!

And, before leaving you, I’ll have to add a very Northern Ireland specific tip. If you get accounted with some Northern Irish, your friend might invite you for tea. First, you’ll find it weird that the tea in question happens to be at 7 p.m, but then, you’ll think, these Irish are weird, they are having tea really late but what the heck! In order to have that tea, you’ll have diner really early though, around 6 p.m, and then, go for that tea. You’ll find it really bizarre that your friend booked a table, but then you’ll realize you definitely got in wrong when you are actually entering a restaurant!
– Hum, let’s get it straight, are we having dinner right now? (that’s me)
– Yes, of course, that’s what I told you!
– Hum, no… we spoke about having tea, reason why I already got dinner…
– Yeah, but tea after 5 p.m means dinner, if I had meant tea, I would have offered you to grab a CUP OF tea…
– ooooo…
So I ended up, not a single drop of tea in my belly, drinking a beer and watching him eating, I got a great evening though ! And a good story to write.
Rule #3: “Let’s have some tea!” (after 5 p.m) = “let’s have dinner!”, and not “let’s have a nice cup of tea with some biscuits.”
Rule #4: “Would you like a cup of tea?” actually means “Would you like a cup of tea?” in ANY occasion, and not “Would you like to have some dinner?”. Tricky, isn’t it?

Jokes aside, Irish people are absolutely lovely, I fell in love with this country one day, not only for its weather (NOT kidding) nor for its breathtaking landscapes, but mostly because there is something deeply generous and kind in every Irish soul. And if I had only one example that I haven’t mentioned in my travel books (upcoming posts), it’s is this one, it’s simple and rare but it naively prouves my point: if an English invites you for a cup of tea (not dinner, tea!), you’ll get your nice cup of tea, and that’s it; if an Irish invites you (still tea, not dinner!), you’ll get your cup of tea, and sandwiches, and biscuits, and fruits, and fish & chips, and freshly caught salmon. Irish feed you to tell you you are great; then if you leave the house full and stuffed, be happy, it means you are loved.

I wasn’t able to fully understand why Irish were so generous and special… I first thought they had such a big island for so few people they coud afford it, or that their history might have been so heavy and painful they now needed to be full of joy… And, a few weeks ago, I read what appears to be, at least for me, the answer: in Irish Middle-Age, people obeyed to Brehon Law which was very specific about hospitality; in the five Irish kingdoms, you could be harshly punished if you didn’t greet well any foreigner, this lack of hospitality was indeed reflected on every Irish soul, from the High King to the most miserable wanderer… This kind of invisible and unchangeable things stays rooted in a culture and draws the outline of a people.

The famous and genuine Irish generosity is one of them.