Fleeting Wor(l)ds

OPINION COLUMN #22

There’s a Japanese concept called the Kintsugi Heart.
It says when someone breaks your heart, the universe doesn’t send someone new to fix it.
It sends the same person back—but only after you’ve filled the cracks yourself with gold.
The first time they leave, it shatters you.
You don’t understand why they couldn’t stay.
So you learn to heal alone.
With time. With growth. With forgiveness.
And slowly, those broken places become the most beautiful parts of you.
Then one day, they return.
Not because you need them to.
But because you’re both finally ready.
And if they don’t come back?
The gold was never for them anyway.
It was always for you.

I just read new theories about love. About departing and returning loves. Some I like more than others. But that is not the point. Or a bit. Since one of them I really liked. The Kintsugi Heart concept…

Instinctively, when I am sad, I blame myself. I don’t know if I am the only one doing this. But my mind is set that way, since I am not even able to be happy, I don’t deserve kindness, beauty and love. This is Voltaire’s fault and his old saying « I have decided to be happy because it is good for you ». You see, happiness is a decision! And, since, I am not making the decision to be happy, I punish myself.

One day though, I read another philosopher’s opinion on the subject: Voltaire is a bitch to guilt you when you decide not to be happy. I don’t remember his words exactly, I just remember it made me feel better. Happiness is not that easy. And it is not permanent. Anyway, my friend passed by and he kicked a bit Voltaire’s smart ass.

Okay, it was two years ago and I only apply now. But everybody knows I am slow to process!

Three weeks ago when I got my broken heart’s memo, I immediately felt the abyss yawning beneath my feet and, honestly, I almost slipped. BUT! I stopped just in time.. Did I really want to go through the auto destructive phase, reborn-phoenix-from-ashes activated mode? Did I really need to fall into the darkest layers of my soul to get stronger?

And mostly, did I really have the energy when I had already slayed to dragon at Christmas?

I’ll be honest, my choice didn’t come easy. But I took advantage of doubts and studied my other options.

Because when you drown in darkness, you see everything in dark colors and I didn’t want to play with my last months’ memories, that I have carefully and preciously recollected.

Hence, I made resolutions. To honour my beautiful memories. Resolutions which. In some ways. Find roots in the Kintsugi Heart concept. I promised myself to only feed my heart and soul with beauty to overcome my sadness. Listen or read poetry. Go to the theater or the movies. Contemplate beautiful paints. Walk beautiful paths. Listen to beautiful music. I promised to only do beautiful things. To shed my brokenhearted tears with love.

And, in the end, feeding myself with beauty looks like mending my heart with golden strings. It sounds like filling the gap with a golden past. It prevents me from haunting my own life and turns me into a beautiful cultured ghost. Everything I have experienced in the last few months is so beautiful, I don’t want it to sink into oblivion. I don’t want it to be swallowed by my own darkness. I don’t want to punish myself when the whole purpose of those last months was to heal every piece of my soul.

I must say, I am a bit proud of myself. Even though I had never heard of the Kintsugi heart concept (knowing the Kintsugi art though), I spontaneously chose a soft repair.

There are some misfires though. Boring dance shows during which you can only think about your life (but the dry white wine glass with your brother afterwards helps). Awardwinning German movies talking about incest and child suicides (not so much for the beauty of life.)

And that knowing. I have a nice safe line in order to put one day after the other. It makes all the difference. It sparkles the healing path with glitters. It brings light into the abyss. It makes love last even after “the end” on the screen of life.

Justine T.Annezo – February, 18th 2026 – GTM+1